I have to admit, I’m at a bit of a loss on what to write about this week.
Everything feels… stuck. Like we’re in an elevator that never makes it to the ground floor.
I’m in the middle of writing three different books – a problem of my own devising, I’ll admit, and one that lets me range through different genres and keep my multi-tasky brain happy. But it also means I’m in three different muddy middles at once.
Stuck.
I’ve been looking for a new job for a full year now, and though time and time again I get so close, I never quite get over the line. There’s always at least one other person who’s just a little more qualified than I am, and they get the job.
Stuck.
We moved into our current rental home in 2015, planning to stay no more than a year, and then we figured we’d buy a new place. But the rise in the housing market and the slowdown of our business conspired against us. Nine years going on ten, and we’re still here.
Stuck.
Here in the US, the presidential race polling seems to have slid into a deep freeze. It’s the closest Presidential election in my lifetime, and if anything, it just keeps getting closer. It’s also the clearest choice in a generation – how can people not see this? And a constant dark cloud over my head that keeps me up at night and doomscrolling the news feeds during the day.
Stuck.
We haven’t taken a true trip or vacation since the pandemic, in part to save money, in part because the world just feels too… out of control. So we venture out, a few miles from our house and back, or maybe manage the hundred miles to the Bay Area and back, but never any farther than that.
Stuck.
There are times that we just want to pack it all up and drive as far away from life as we can, leaving all the stuck behind. Anywhere away from here. And yet…
I close my eyes.
I take a deep breath.
I remind myself that we have a comfortable place to live. We can still pay the bills. We’re healthy (knock on wood) and have enough to eat. We have the love of one another and of friends and family to see us through.
We’re okay.
And time is never static for long. Sooner or later, something’s gonna give. This elevator’s gonna move.
I just hope it goes in the right direction.