A few years ago, when the fight for transgender rights and recognition was just gaining steam, one of my older friends from a generation before mine came to me and Mark and said that she just didn’t understand what “the whole transgender thing” was about.
I think she asked us because, as a gay couple, she figured we would know, and that we were a safe space where she wouldn’t risk alienating a trans friend or loved one.
We sat down with her and explained it as best as we were able – to be clear here, I am not a trans man, and Mark is not either, but are fortunate to have many in our lives. So we distilled what we knew, and instead of being fearful, our friend learned something and became a supporter, just as she had become a supporter of gay rights after she had met and gotten to know us better.
I bring this up because we are going through a painful time for queer people, but especially for trans and non-binary folks. Just like they did in 2004 with horrible ads against gays and marriage equality, the GOP is now demonizing trans folk to try to drive a wedge into the electorate.
These ads are airing all across the swing states. My dad even saw some in Arizona during a football game, and texted me to tell me how awful they were.
And with this tactic, they are threatening to roll back decades of progress for both transgender people and the entire queer community.
So let me put out a few facts.
Transgender people aren’t:
- Attacking cisgender people. Trans people are far, far more at risk by attack from cisgender people than cis folks are from them.
- Any more likely to be criminals than anyone else.
- Created by straight or cisgender people. They are born as they are, in a body that doesn’t fit them.
- Being turned trans in schools/ Schools are not taking in cisgender kids and sending them home as trans.
Transgender people are:
- Empathetic towards others because of all the crap they have had to go through to be their authentic selves.
- Far less likely to cause problems in society because they often fear (justifiably) the reaction.
- Often enormously creative and talented.
- Some of my favorite people in the world.
We need to stand up for our transgender and non-binary friends, who have been targeted these last few months in ways that few of us can truly comprehend. If you have trans friends, reach out and see how they are. Reject transphobia wherever you see it, loudly and often.
Talk to your friends and families. Minds can be changed, but it works both ways.
And vote. For the love of decency and democracy and country, please get out and vote.
Or in a few months I might not be allowed to write a column like this anymore (and you might not be allowed to read it).