We live in consequential times. In just over four weeks, folks here in the US will be asked to choose a new President, in an election that will have serious ramifications for the future of my country, and for the world. Whichever way it goes.
War is exploding in the tinderbox of the Middle East. Hurricanes are appearing and expanding to maximum destructive levels in less than a day. And one of the places we used to get respite – spending time on social media with our friends – has been twisted into a soul-devouring, money-making psychotic hole.
So what’s a poor gay guy to do?
While I don’t advocate sticking your head in the sand – there are many real world ways you can make an impact, like filling out postcards to encourage likely voters or making calls to get out the vote – an essential part of self-care is knowing when you need a break.
This week, the amazing queer-positive TV show Heartstopper returned for its third (penultimate) season. Because Mark and I are old, we often forget all the details of previous seasons. So we rewatch them when a new one comes out, to refresh all the details in our heads. For the last few nights, we’ve been immersed in season one and two of this amazing show.
If you haven’t seen Heartstopper, the core of it is the romance between two teens at chool – Nick, the rugby player, and Charlie, the geeky drummer. It’s absolutely chock-full of joy and heart-touching moments, with a signature style that includes animated leaves swirling around the couple and little shocks of electricity when they touch fingers. It’s sweet, charming, and an example of humanity at its best.
That a show like this can even exist is a testament to how far we have come. A few years back, my mouth fell open in amazement when Blaine sang to Kurt on Glee – a shockingly wonderful moment that brought tears to my eyes.
And when David and Patrick got together on Schitt’s Creek, and Patrick sang to him (I guess I’m a sucker for gays singing love songs), my heart leapt.
Heartstopper is another level altogether. It mirrors real life – it’s filled with queer characters, including a trans girl, a lesbian couple, and an ace boy, (and don’t even get me started on the lovely disregard for the importance of racial differences that allows characters of diverse backgrounds to flourish together). And a gay couple is at the heart of it.
As a kid who struggled with being gay for almost a decade and didn’t come out until I was twenty-three, my heart goes out to Nick, who is trying to come to terms with the fact that he likes guys and that he is bisexual. His own struggle, played out in small steps, pained expressions, and glorious little victories, feels wholly natural and authentic. It casts me back to my own youth when I was scared that no one would ever love me again if they found out.
And did I mention that Nick is bisexual? The show stakes out this character ground early, and repeatedly pushes back on the trope that he’s just not committed enough to being gay. There’s no bisexual erasure here.
If you’re as old as I am, you can still remember many of the highlights of gay culture on TV. When Matt got a boyfriend on the original Melrose place, and they kissed… but we only got to see it from the back of Matt’s head.
When Will and Jack kissed on Will and Grace, but only to prove a point in front of the cameras for Good Morning America. Still it was something.
And when Ellen whispered “I’m gay!” over an open mike in an airport, and people at Ellen watch parties all around the world cheered.
We have gotten to the point where queer characters can be the point of the show, and can be celebrated in a way that makes this gay guy cry. And that’s something beautiful and stunning that I wasn’t sure I would ever live to see.
So yeah, for a few nights, I’m taking some time off from worrying about the world. All those scary issues will still be there when I get back, and I’ll do what I can about them then.
But for a couple hours every night for a few days, I want to live in a beautiful world, one where queer love wins out over all.